1
00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:06,973
♪♪Simpsons Halloween,
Simpsons Halloween♪♪

2
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:08,641
♪♪Beloved characters
dead and gone♪♪

3
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:12,112
♪♪Simpsons Halloween, blood
and guts will make you scream♪♪

4
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,581
-[yelps]
-!Ay, caramba.
-♪♪Halloween episodes♪♪

5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,349
♪♪Are not canon.♪♪

6
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,718
♪♪ ♪♪

7
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,320
[exclaims]

8
00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:26,826
Homie, it's our first

9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,461
wedding anniversary.

10
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,931
Which means it's been exactly
a year since you promised

11
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,700
to build this shed.

12
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:34,934
Yeah, but I've been thinking--

13
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,403
are we really shed people?

14
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:39,239
Maybe "box in the living room"
is more our vibe.

15
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,708
Oh. I'll build it myself.

16
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,443
[grunting]

17
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,615
[Homer] Ah-ah.

18
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,716
-Mm...
-Mm?

19
00:00:49,849 --> 00:00:50,850
Ta-da.

20
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,585
-Look what we built.
-"We"?

21
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,721
Uh,oui, oui, madame.

22
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:55,722
Where does this go?

23
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:56,756
Put it in the shed.

24
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,892
Okay, it's going on the list.

25
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,260
Don't put it on the list.

26
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,528
Put it in the shed.

27
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,263
Can we not argue
in front of the list?

28
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:06,900
Is this what the rest of my life
is going to be?

29
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,034
Could've just asked.

30
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,603
Gonna go put this in the shed.

31
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,439
[groans softly]

32
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:18,445
Hey, baby, it's gardening time.

33
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,245
Who are you?

34
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,313
Where's my husband?

35
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,916
Oh, pumpkin, this is one
of the reasons I married you--

36
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,185
your wacky sense of humor.

37
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,787
[humming a tune]

38
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:29,989
Homie?

39
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,360
Homie? Where are you?

40
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:35,762
We've been robbed.

41
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:36,996
They took our stuff and...

42
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,898
left other stuff.

43
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,033
[gasps]

44
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,669
What the heck is happening?

45
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,638
Are some pranksters
pulling a gotcha?

46
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,407
I've got to call Homer.

47
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,777
-Aah!
-[Lenny] Hey, sexy mama.

48
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,179
I think it's towel time.

49
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:55,648
[grunting]

50
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,783
What are you doing?

51
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,918
Chair time isn't till Wednesday.

52
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,920
I'll go put this in the shed.

53
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,925
Hey, sweetheart.

54
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,828
[gasps]

55
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,299
-Aah!
-I made it all the way here

56
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,770
from the shed, even though
it's slightly uphill. [chuckles]

57
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,204
Hey, how about a foot rub?

58
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,073
-[squelching]
-[breathing sharply]

59
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:22,409
Wh-What is happening?

60
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,211
I'd love to give you a foot rub,

61
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,682
but can you get my toe creams
from the shed?

62
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,783
Oh, boy.

63
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,352
Gonna be a party tonight
for Wiggy's piggies

64
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,054
and the bunion bunch.

65
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,855
-[squelching]
-[grumbling]

66
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:38,892
Thanks for meeting, Tiffany.

67
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,227
According to these pictures
that are now on my phone,

68
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,230
you and I are best friends.
Mm.

69
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,366
Mm-hmm.
Cake don't lie.

70
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,368
I know this is
gonna sound crazy,

71
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,970
but every time my husband
goes into our shed,

72
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,372
a new one comes out.

73
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,241
Apparently,
now I'm married to

74
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,643
this guy.

75
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,611
Marge, if what
you're saying is true,

76
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:02,849
you got the winning numbers
for the romance lottery.

77
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,217
I did? How?

78
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,987
Listen, most guys
hide who they really are

79
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,723
till they got you locked down.

80
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,858
Oh, sure, on the first date,

81
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,493
they're Idris Elba.

82
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,096
But six months later,
you're asking,

83
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:19,265
"Id-ris
really who I settled for?"

84
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,868
This lady knows
what I'm talking about.

85
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,070
-Oh, do I ever.
-Oh!

86
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:28,008
But you get to choose your man
after seeing who he really is.

87
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,610
And if he ain't good in bed,

88
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,012
give him the shed.

89
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,114
If he won't take you
to Club Med,

90
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,149
give him the shed.

91
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,051
If his talks ain't Ted...

92
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,853
Give him the shed!

93
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,021
[cheering]

94
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,689
♪♪It's raining men♪♪

95
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:46,593
♪♪Hallelujah, it's raining men♪♪

96
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,561
♪♪Amen♪♪

97
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,264
♪♪I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna let myself♪♪

98
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,767
♪♪Get absolutely♪♪

99
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,169
♪♪Soaking wet♪♪

100
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:59,272
♪♪It's raining men♪♪

101
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:02,575
♪♪Hallelujah, it's raining men♪♪

102
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,911
♪♪Every specimen.♪♪

103
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,212
[man]
Honeybee,

104
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,480
you okay?

105
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,581
You'll ruin that dress,

106
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,183
and it's so flattering on you.

107
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,218
[gasps]
Survivorhost

108
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,221
and laid-back dreamboat
Jeff Probst?

109
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,089
Are you my husband now?

110
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,793
Yep. Would I have
this tribal tattoo

111
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,060
if I wasn't?

112
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,362
[Marge] Mm!

113
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,764
Now, why don't we go upstairs
and you can...

114
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,566
snuff my torch.

115
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,668
[giggling]

116
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,472
Jeff, remind me again
about our first date.

117
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:34,941
I just like the way
you tell the story.

118
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,476
Well, we went to a tiki bar,

119
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,946
and let's just say you
didn't vote me off the island.

120
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,916
[chuckling] Oh. Oh.

121
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,117
Wha?

122
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:47,087
-Homie! I thought I lost you.
-Huh? Oh!

123
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,089
Oh, hey, hey, hey, who are you?

124
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,024
How dare you mess
with my manicotti.

125
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:54,794
Homer, hold some things
while I find my pepper spray.

126
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,829
You don't know me?

127
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,963
I'm Marge.

128
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,866
Marge. Marge!

129
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,234
Ooh. I'm sorry.

130
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,236
I thought... I knew him.

131
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,271
Sweetheart, it's okay.

132
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,374
Now, let's say
we go upstairs and...

133
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,376
merge the tribes.

134
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,112
[both moaning]

135
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,848
[moaning, chuckling]

136
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,950
[Marge]
Oh, Homer.

137
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,618
-Homer?
-Uh-oh.

138
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,855
Well, there was
a contestant named Omar

139
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,523
on season 42.

140
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,559
But I don't think
that's what you meant.

141
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,596
Not at all!
[crying]

142
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:32,699
After last night,

143
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,734
I thought it best
to ask you to...

144
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,236
uh, cast your vote

145
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,238
in the shed of destiny.

146
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,774
The bride has spoken.

147
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,581
-Hoo-boy, that's a downgrade.
-[groans]

148
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,151
-[shotgun racks]
-[Marge] I'm sorry
it's come to this.

149
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,886
Aah!
My hot stalker.

150
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,020
Are you crazy?

151
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,422
I am crazy.

152
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,124
Crazy in love with the man
I initially married.

153
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,160
Now, come love me back

154
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,028
or I'll kill you.

155
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:04,431
[whimpering]

156
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,267
I don't know how
this wackadoodle magic works,

157
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,436
but maybe if we go
into that shed together,

158
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,605
it will get me off
this horrible marriage-go-round.

159
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,808
-So let's go.
-Ow!

160
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,711
[both gasp]

161
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,714
Marge! I went in the shed
and when I came out,

162
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,315
I was married to Helen Lovejoy.

163
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,917
And then Lunch Lady Dora.

164
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,185
Then Crazy Cat Lady.

165
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,053
And then Jeff Probst.

166
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,355
None of that matters.

167
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,857
Somehow, we found our way
back to each other

168
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,460
and the lives
we were supposed to have.

169
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:36,196
Everything is finally perfect.

170
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,665
[both moaning]

171
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,102
Mommy and Daddy are sinning.

172
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,771
-Yay!
-Yay!

173
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,778
I made an extra special
meal tonight,

174
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,613
because I love you all so much.

175
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,081
-Yay!
-Yay!
-Yay!

176
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,717
It's beige surprise.

177
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,520
This family
needs to get healthy.

178
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:02,856
Bleah!

179
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,358
Hm.
Where do you three rascals

180
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,726
think you're going?

181
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,328
Marge, we had
a long, honest talk

182
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,896
about what you said
ten seconds ago,

183
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,065
and we decided
to get a jump on fitness

184
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,967
by jogging to the dog park.

185
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,237
♪♪ ♪♪

186
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,874
[whimpering]

187
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,611
Don't get me wrong,
your mother's a great lady.

188
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,814
But every once in a while,
she whiffs dinner so hard.

189
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,151
What is with you
and delicious, savory meat?

190
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,852
[Santa's Little Helper whimpers]

191
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,020
-Fetch.
-[barks]

192
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,255
-[tires screech]
-[thud]

193
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,523
-[Santa's Little
Helper whimpers]
-[gasps]

194
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,992
["On Top of Spaghetti"
playing eerily]

195
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,100
Oh. [sobs]
That dog was my best friend.

196
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,768
He pooped in all the best places

197
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,037
and he humped
all the funniest things.

198
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,040
And now he's licking
his junk with Jesus.

199
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,408
[grunting]

200
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,378
Whew. The gravediggers
I follow on Instagram

201
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:01,414
always make their job
seem so glamorous.

202
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,049
But you know what?

203
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,851
-[thunk]
-Uh-oh.

204
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,586
Aah!

205
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,521
[grunting softly]

206
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:18,098
God, I killed
the dog and the boy.

207
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,467
Got to think of something
to tell Marge.

208
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,403
Can't sleep until
I think of something.

209
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,339
Oh, I'll never sleep again.

210
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,608
[snoring]

211
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,784
[gasps]

212
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,221
Honey, I think
Bart and the dog ran away.

213
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:44,324
They were saying something
about the terrible food here,

214
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,826
but you shouldn't
blame yourself.

215
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,462
[growling]

216
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:50,497
[gasps]

217
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,333
Egg whites
and cauliflower bacon.

218
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,170
Oh, look at him gobble it down.

219
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,707
And isn't that cute?

220
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,442
The dog thinks he's Bart.

221
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,710
[chuckling]

222
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,780
[groans softly]

223
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,718
[growling]

224
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,053
They're not dead?

225
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,055
But I... Meatball.

226
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,222
Blood shovel.

227
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,324
Save me, morning beer.

228
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,630
-[whimpers]
-What's going on, boy?

229
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,466
Don't you want to stick
your head out the window?

230
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,268
[barking]

231
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,704
[barking, panting]

232
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,678
-Hmm.
-[whimpering]

233
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,217
[growling]

234
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,293
♪♪ ♪♪

235
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,981
Mm...

236
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,517
Bart! Bart!

237
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,685
Yes, "bark"--

238
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,787
that's the noise you make.

239
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,023
Now go play outside with Bart.

240
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,291
[growling]

241
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,030
A Ouija board?

242
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,564
"T...

243
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:32,565
"H...

244
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,200
"E...

245
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,935
"dog and I switched bodies

246
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,471
after being buried
in the same grave"?!

247
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,173
Aah!

248
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,208
Is that really you, Bart?

249
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,943
[whimpering]

250
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:47,180
But then Bart is the dog.

251
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:52,252
Mom, I know this is
gonna sound crazy, but I think

252
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,221
Bart and Santa's Little Helper
have swapped bodies!

253
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:59,092
And I think you've swapped
bodies with the silly monster.

254
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,460
[chuckling]

255
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,128
Well, I'm off to the laundromat

256
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:05,198
just to see
if anyone needs help.

257
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,467
Lisa,

258
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,202
if your little theory was true--

259
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,503
and it's not--

260
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,772
maybe your brother
is happier as DogBart.

261
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,575
And maybe the pooch
is happier as BartDog.

262
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,410
Wait, shouldn't that
be the other way around?

263
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,780
If we're referring to Bart's
body with the dog inside of him,

264
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,048
that should be BartDog.

265
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:25,118
The dog with Bart inside
should be DogBart.

266
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,755
No. If Bart's inside the dog,
it's BartDog.

267
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,256
Soul first.

268
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,725
Why would you do soul first?

269
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,461
The first word
should be what we see.

270
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,261
DogBart.

271
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,496
No, BartDog.

272
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,997
That's the only way
it makes sense.

273
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,133
Either way,
the one I call BartDog

274
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,669
-is chewing up your vodka hat.
-[gasps]

275
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:43,870
My HatVodka!

276
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,972
Why, you little...
[grunting]

277
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,974
[growling]

278
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,078
Aah!

279
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,284
Hey, I just got bit
by this vicious mongrel.

280
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,619
-[cackling]
-[growling]

281
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,989
You know what we do
with mad dogs?

282
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:08,561
Put... them... down.

283
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,230
But that's Bart.

284
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,766
[barking]

285
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,036
[whimpering]

286
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,039
Come on, boy.
We have to stop him.

287
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,445
♪♪ ♪♪

288
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,848
[howling]

289
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,889
Whoa!

290
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,062
Oh, no.

291
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,697
What are we gonna do?

292
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,299
["On Top of Spaghetti"
playing eerily]

293
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,541
Thanks, boy.

294
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:58,678
[exclaims]

295
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,413
-Huh?
-[dogs barking]

296
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,151
[screaming]

297
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,360
[screaming, barking stops]

298
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,930
Only some of that is sauce.

299
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,645
Homie! Dinnertime!

300
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,714
[meows] Woo-hoo!

301
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:37,984
-[growling]
-[yowling]

302
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,252
Should we help Dad?

303
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,055
Eh.
At least he's exercising.

304
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,995
[snoring]

305
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,332
Ugh, this again?

306
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,768
[sputters, coughs]

307
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,404
How could your father
just up and leave us?

308
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,873
At least Kirk Van Houten
had the courtesy

309
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,908
to murder his family first.

310
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,910
Mom, it's been seven years.

311
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,813
And we still don't know
why Dad disappeared.

312
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,482
My bet is he drowned
in a chocolate fountain.

313
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,918
That's impossible.
Those scuba divers dredged

314
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,054
every Hometown Buffet
in the state.

315
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:17,524
Okay. Mom, Bart and I
have to go to driver's ed.

316
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,893
Bye.
See you later.

317
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,801
[Largo]
Welcome to driver's ed.

318
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,235
For some of you,
it's your third time,

319
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,906
because you parallel park
like Billy Joel on payday.

320
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,041
[singsongy] Bart Simpson!

321
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,411
And now, the four most beautiful
words for any teacher:

322
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,280
let's watch a movie.

323
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,418
[narrator reading]

324
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,688
[Nelson]
Spelling sucks.

325
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:49,789
[narrator]
Meet Gladys.

326
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,591
She's running a little late,

327
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,559
so she's doing her makeup

328
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,095
while she drives.

329
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,364
Hmm, that woman looks familiar.

330
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,734
[narrator]
Yes, Gladys is going to end up
looking pretty.

331
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,202
Pretty dead.

332
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,403
[horn honks]

333
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,139
Aah!

334
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,309
[children screaming]

335
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,077
[cheering]

336
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,414
Bart, that lady
looked just like Dad.

337
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,217
[scoffs]
No way.

338
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,753
You've been huffing
too much sax wax.

339
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,955
[narrator]
Now meet Rocco.

340
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,823
Rocco thinks it's perfectly fine

341
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,493
to eat lunch while driving.

342
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,496
Aah!
[screaming]

343
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:34,734
He's almost dead.

344
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,569
And he's still eating.

345
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,904
ThatisDad!

346
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,441
But why would our missing father
be killed over and over again

347
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,443
in a driver's ed film?

348
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,745
[gasps]

349
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,188
[Patty and Selma]
Hello, kids.

350
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,657
-Aah!
-Aah

351
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,758
-Aunts!
-Aunts!

352
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,260
Sorry to scare you.

353
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,896
We're just catching up
on our lurking.

354
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,131
We think we saw our dad
in a driver's ed video

355
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,368
and we're trying to figure out
how the hell that happened.

356
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,569
[both huffing]

357
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,572
Maybe we can help you find
the answers you're looking for.

358
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:16,609
But first, wouldn't you like
to get your driver's licenses

359
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,545
a little early?

360
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:22,382
Well, of course. But we really
need to get to the bottom of...

361
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,618
[gasps]

362
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,221
Bart, no!

363
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,157
!Ay, caramba!

364
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,560
We're in the driver's ed video.

365
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,794
[Homer humming a tune]

366
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,496
[narrator reading]

367
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,166
[chuckles]
I hear that guy all the time.

368
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,335
Usually just before
I'm decapitated.

369
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,338
Just once, I'd like
to end a drive capitated.

370
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,374
Dad, I know
this is gonna sound crazy,

371
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,810
but Patty and Selma are
actually horrible witches...

372
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,312
-Duh.
-...who condemned you

373
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,582
to live inside this
deadly instructional video.

374
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,851
You've been trapped
for seven years,

375
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,953
getting brutally killed
again and again

376
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,822
by your own terrible driving.

377
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,656
But I'm a great driver.

378
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,292
And so cool under pressure.

379
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,862
[honks]

380
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,063
Cut me off?

381
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,332
Do your thing, road rage!

382
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,366
No, Dad!

383
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,969
"To escape these trials
and tribulations,

384
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,371
"obey all traffic regulations.

385
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,339
"Follow the rules,
each to the letter,

386
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:23,643
or ye shall be trapped
forever and ever!"

387
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,112
Okay, I'll drive
as careful as when I'm drunk

388
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,448
and trying
not to get pulled over.

389
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,584
Who the hell
is driving that thing?

390
00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:33,319
Look at the mud flaps.

391
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,626
[all exhale]

392
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,232
-Just speed up.
-Huh?

393
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,134
If you go
exactly the speed limit,

394
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,870
you should be able to make it
to that turnoff ahead.

395
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,873
But you can't go over 55.

396
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,182
[grunts]

397
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,218
[both growl]

398
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,221
[narrator reading]

399
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:11,624
[all screaming]

400
00:18:11,725 --> 00:18:13,993
[cackling]

401
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:14,994
What do I do?

402
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,162
Take your foot off the gas,

403
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,531
don't brake,
and steer into the skid.

404
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,600
Which kid?
I don't see a kid.

405
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,935
Who should I kill?

406
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,637
[Lisa]
Not "kid," skid...!

407
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,510
Well, I assume
it's smooth sailing from here.

408
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,245
[narrator reading]

409
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:36,516
[Homer whimpering]

410
00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,387
[groans]

411
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,962
[exclaiming]

412
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:50,797
Wait, Homer
can't break the rules.

413
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,633
-But we can.
-[grunting]

414
00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:57,504
[yelling]

415
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,707
[grunting, exclaiming]

416
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,049
Okay, Dad,
just one more obstacle.

417
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,418
[cackling]

418
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,688
Don't forget to signal.

419
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,089
Aah!
No problem.

420
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,791
I'll just use a hand signal.

421
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,294
Aah!
My signaling arm!

422
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,597
Oh.

423
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,337
We're gonna make it!

424
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,440
I can't wait to hug
your mother again.

425
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,607
Oh.

426
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,812
Complete the final

427
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,715
DMV challenge

428
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:43,750
or be trapped forever

429
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,286
in driver's ed hell.

430
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,088
Challenge?
What challenge?

431
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,990
Parallel parking!

432
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,425
[all screaming]

433
00:19:53,093 --> 00:19:54,761
[Homer]
I can't parallel park.

434
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,996
I have no arms
where my arms should be.

435
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,732
I can do it.

436
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,602
I guess it's up to you, Bart.

437
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,105
Okay, remember to pull up

438
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:06,906
about two or three feet away,

439
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:07,974
check your mirrors, and--

440
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:09,476
Aah!

441
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:13,747
-No!
-No!

442
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,590
My Homie!

443
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,692
[both moan]

444
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:29,029
So where did you learn
to parallel park like that?

445
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:30,597
That's parallel parking?

446
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,768
Oh. But what happened
to Patty and Selma?

447
00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:40,707
-No...!
-No...!

448
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,176
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

449
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,944
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

450
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:47,747
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

451
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,860
[shrieks]